I was spanked and smacked. There was corporal punishment in my household and I learned from it.
Today is different. I told my son Brandon about what my folks used to do to me and he said he'd call a lawyer and sue me. You got to love the modern child. Today, hitting and spanking is frowned upon. If you do it in public people stare.
And I wonder if we are losing our children because of it. If there are no major repercussions then why should they behave?
We had an incident at the house where my daughter Celine was very disrespectful towards her grandmother. It angered me and Celine could give me no explanation why she did it. It is the second incident between grand mom and Celine and that is two too many. I know if I did the same thing as a child I'd be in the backyard hunting for that switch. Or I might get the belt across the backside.
We don't do that in today's society. So I am threatening to make her skip her soccer party this weekend. There will be no sleep over’s for a couple weeks and all electronics out of the room except for home work.
But does that really reach children and teach children? Does this force them to wake up and say "I've got to behave now?" I'm not convinced of it. I've taken things away from Celine and she is back doing the same thing days later. Was I that way when the threat of a beating hung over me?
I was scared of my family. I thought they were nuts, but I was a pretty good kid. I did not want that butt whipping because it hurt.
How do you handle things at home? I am angry at Celine now but I want to cool down and not overreact. I threatened to take her off her soccer team next season and I was serious. But I need to breathe now and get myself together.
Do you go through the same things?
Terry,
ReplyDeleteGrowing up, if my dad had to spank me I knew I really did something wrong, and trust me it happened a few times, but I also remember him giving me a hug a little while after, reminding me that he still loved me but had to do what he did to make me realize what I did was wrong. I'm no where near being a parent yet, but my parents did an excellent job raising me, and I can only hope to be the father my dad is to me one day. But when the day comes when my little man or little girl misbehaves, I won't be afraid of a spanking here or there because it teaches them quick, but I won't be afraid to dish out the love at the same time. Kids gotta respect you too brother!
I do believe that society has become too PC with disciplining your child nowadays. Whenever I am in a public place has see or hear a kid acting up only to see their parent or parents pleading with them to cooperate. It makes me sick!
ReplyDeleteI am 27 years old and I am still scared to death of my father. He now lives nine hours away from me, but when he calls and ask me to do something for him, I obey.
Why is that? It is because I was raised to respect my parents and my elders through a little bit of tough love.
Had that of been me as a child in that store acting up, my father would have grabbed me by the back of my neck and dragged me out of that store. You could also be sure that the belt would be coming and soon as we got home.
Looking bad on things now, I give my parents all the credit in the world for how my siblings and I have grown into fine, upstanding citizens. As products of divorce at an early age, my three brothers and myself have never once been in trouble with the law and were above average students throughout school.
I owe it all to the "look" that my dad would shoot at us while misbehaving in public or the threat of my mothers nails puncturing my arm.
It sounds crazy but I thank my dad now for laying the belt on my when I deserved it. I just hope when I have kids of my own that I am half the father to them that my father was to me.
http://youarenotsosmart.com/2011/06/10/the-backfire-effect/#more-1218
ReplyDelete"So, how about spanking? ... Here’s the skinny - psychologists are still studying the matter, but the current thinking says spanking generates compliance in children if done infrequently, in private and using only the hands. Now, here’s a slight correction: other methods of behavior modification like positive reinforcement, token economies, time out and so on are just as effective and don’t require any violence."