The emotional parent

On Sunday my son Brandon started his final game with the Force and was the team captain. I began to choke up. It was his final game forever with the team and it was a sad day for me.

I am pulling my son from a team he was proud to be on. I liked the coach. I liked the players and I liked the parents. It was a perfect situation for us except for one thing. My son is not going to kill himself on a soccer field. My guy is just one of the gang. He has skills but Little B won't win the hustle award. It is not in him and a lot of things built up inside of me to the point where I cried for the first time since my aunt died three years ago.

The main reason is I never want to say good bye. I am not good with closing a good chapter of my life. The past year has been good for Little B. But at the same time the boy is not crazy about soccer. He will continue to play but he will play recreation soccer.

I thought back to those days when I drove Brandon and his two teammates Danny and Alex back home. They talked girls and music and rubber bands. I loved hearing them talk about kid stuff. It was fun.

I thanked the parents for being supportive and let them know Coach Chris was a great coach and confidence booster for B. I loved the way he handled him. My good byes at the end were very brief because I felt the tears about to roll out of my eyes and I did not want to look like a goof in front of the boys and the parents. Besides, it would have been embarrassing for B to see his father blabber like a fool.

His coach said Brandon made tremendous strides and that he was a good practice player. He put him in at defense during some important spots. But I knew Brandon was not as much as he could.

I knew this day was coming. Like I said, the end is tough for me.

There were a few things rolling inside of me. B is really a good little boy. He has a big heart but his heart is not in the sport. I knew that before the season began. But we had an agreement. If he made the A team he could play travel soccer. If he made the B team it was rec for him.

The boy really worked hard and he made the A team. But my fears were soon realized. B is not a real aggressive kid. He floats, makes a play and then floats again. My daughter Celine caught him looking at a girl he likes on another soccer field once and yelled at him.

He perked up for a few minutes and then returned to la-la land.

I really wanted him to succeed at this because I knew he wanted to be on this team. He would be if he had the fire that burns inside my daughter Celine. She will run through a brick wall to win. Brandon might run through one if there were a chocolate chip cookie on the other side.

I cried because he will miss this team.

I cried because I really wanted him to be successful on a really good team.

But I cried mostly because I know the decision to pull him was the right one. And it hurt.